Just a Repeating Hallucination
by Mold-aund-Mildred
Summary: Isn't it always nice to dream while you are awake? To hallucinate pleasing things? Well, Ema's dreams seem to happen with a certain person... And her after thoughts are as cloudy as the sky on a rainy day. Somehow, he was always there for her.
1. The Different Hallucination

I do not own Ace Attorney, or any of the characters. These people could be whoever you want them to be, but it was originally Klavier and Ema.

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"I'm carefree!" The girl felt natural, as if she was… Somebody important. Drifting off to the places in her fantasies and dreams, hallucinating that her current whereabouts were they. Her mind, making it night, while it was still bright as ever. The stars lit up, shining, and twinkling, and her spinning, spinning, and spinning. There was the guy. The guy who made her heart flutter.

Whenever he talked to her, his words were for her, and only her.

Whenever he smiled at her, his smile was mood enlightening.

Whenever he cared for her, it was never too extreme, nor too short.

Whenever he held her hand, and danced with her… Oh, what a heaven, other than being in the place your heart calls home! The slight, gentle touch of his hand was as shocking as ever, and guided her through troubled times. Those arms, so helping.

1, 2, 3. 5, 6, 7… This count was something she always remembers. Twirling, face to face, creating an illusion of true love. But, how could it be an illusion, if it's real?

Real in her dream world. She felt it. She saw it. She lived it. What more could you ask for in a dream trance? He stopped, and the whole world stopped, to see what he was about to do. Soft as ever, he kissed her hand. Surely, all of the people in her dream world were watching, but to her, it felt like they were alone.

Of course, all fairy tales have to end, with an ending that varies. Her ending, that always seemed to repeat itself, was hurtful. Enjoy it while you can. He vanished. Into the thin air. And even worse, she could never see his face. But, he would always see hers. Falling back into the real world, well, the guy was running a little late. Usually, when she came back, he was not there. There, his coated back, to her face, walking off into the scene. Should she touch him, to see who he is? No, leave dreams the way they are meant to be… To end.


	2. Not True Love Yet

I do not own Ace Attorney, or any of the characters.

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She closed her eyes. How could this be true? She wanted true love. What is this? This does not seem like true love. Love should make you feel warm inside, and gleeful. Love should make you give up anything for it, since it is the best present. Love should make you… Anything but what she is feeling now. It would be best to leave, but she doesn't want to feel alone again… She still did not want to feel this way, either.

Now, should she listen to love songs, to convince her mind that this is true love? To lie to herself? Or, just stop thinking. Maybe it's that simple, and maybe it isn't. She shouldn't feel insecure. Or maybe she doesn't deserve to be happy. It could be, since she didn't think that highly of herself. When you are in trouble, you could only wish somebody else could help you pick up the pieces. Well, where was her secret admirer? Retired? Gone. She knows that he isn't here now.

But, doesn't love work in mysterious ways? He might not be here now, but he could be there sometime else. Fine, she could wait for him. She could be happy without somebody, as long as she knows somebody is coming to her, little bits, each day. She could be grateful for living, when she knows somebody is grateful for her. The question is, who is this person? Why want to find out, when you just know they exist? And are safe, live to see your smile, and love you from afar, not sure if it would be a difference with you or not. She certainly knows that he is near her now, in her mind, in her soul, and is there whenever she asks. A masked man, coming to rescue her soul from the darkness, and the unwelcoming-ness from the outside world. The world she has to be in everyday. But, he was part of her everyday life. Just smiling, and being in a bright mood, will bring him to her. The cycle continues, until the outcome is true love. She knows she is in the beginning of the love cycle.


	3. Love is Greater Than Pain

I do not own Ace Attorney, or any of the characters.

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You really never cherish something, until it's gone. Just only like things that you depend on, and when they run out, you are grateful for it, and wish for it. Not many people love everything, and everybody, they just focus on living. This proves even the boldest, cry hysterics, and blame everything they did, and everything they didn't do, on themselves. Thinking only of the person they lost, and become dead in their spirit. Thinking life was no longer for them, thinking of following them. She wasn't cherishing much, before her life changed. Things like that have to happen, no matter how emotional you'll get. Only to change the way you live.

Change and pain. They seem like the same thing. But, they are different. People who have pain in their lives feel a similarity between the two. If you were experiencing change, you'd feel that way, too. She was in the middle of all this chaos. The only thing she could think of was pain. Pain was taking over her life. Pain was her sun, and she revolved around it. Pushing all of the other people revolving around love, out of her way. There was one, who kept on coming back to her, but she would still push him away. She didn't need anybody, all she needed was pain. Even when pain is stubborn, they can notice patterns. Patterns she thought of were, for some reason, about him. The man who she kept on pushing away, and kept coming back. Each time he came back, she pushed him, but stepped forward, and pushed him back. Sooner or later, she was in the solar system of love. Another time, she experienced change. But, this change felt different. Was it even change? Yes, it was. Because of him, she discovered that change is not pain. And love was greater than pain.

She smiled. Smiled as bright as she did when she was a child. Things have changed since then, but she loved the place in life she was now. Hugs, kisses, all of those things had a different definition. Hugs were for grown-ups, and kisses were for teenagers. She was an adult now, but she still felt like a child. The definitions of the words didn't change, either.

She didn't know why, but _whenever she was with him_, she thought hugs were for people like her, and kisses were for people like her. She could act them out as much as she could, and not get in trouble for it. She didn't stop feeling grown-up, because she was. Being an adult, means she should have problems that adults have. For example, she heard many people crying on the streets, next door, saying how much they miss their families. She thought about it, and cried. It wasn't her fault that her parents died when she was little. But, she was blaming it on herself. Without thinking, she grabbed the phone, and called him. In only a few minutes of pure depression, and crying, he was there. Nobody had ever had that much sympathy for her, like he did. Thankfully, she had a box of tissues near her, so she could cry in front of his face. It didn't work out that way, exactly.

He entered, saw her, and ran right to her side. Hugs finally seemed important in her life then. She felt the warmth, of somebody else's body, and it was… Something else. Love. For once, somebody didn't laugh at her pain, but felt sorry for her. For once, somebody loved her, and she loved him.

All of these words wanted to pour out of her body, but she only wept. She felt that he felt her pain. Without her telling him. That was different. He was different. Then, he started to cry. Crying with her?

It was her turn to comfort him. Hugs, and no words. Maybe, life could be that way. He stopped, and hugged her as tight as he could. He left after that. Somehow, she knew he was coming back soon.


	4. Stop Doing Nothing

I do not own Ace Attorney, or any of the characters.

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She knew she had long, tedious work to do. It was the overpowering panic. Of nothing. Well, actually, for nothing to happen, at the very least. Her mind was as flushed as a girl with her first crush. It would be okay that nothing would happen today… But, what about tomorrow? Or the following days? What if nothing happened, and he forgot about her? Maybe he moved on to better times. The average person, she thought, was far more fantastic that what she is. She tried using the opposite theory. What if she forgot about him? He would be heartbroken. Or, maybe he was heartbroken already. This was as difficult as an algebra expression, where you need to find out what x equals. Those tiny little things that she could not comprehend, but she could understand science, history, ect. Even other topics in arithmetic's. Okay. The real question is… Does he still love me? No, not that. Find out what x equals… Or, maybe how to get x alone… No. What action I should do to end this? To make him aware of my presence in his life? Talk to him? Call him? E-mail him? Depression was her main mood now, and it was all because of an afternoon without him. What would happen if I weren't be able to reach him? Terror, chaos. All concluding to one thing… She needed him.

That is confusing. She never really needed anybody, except for Lana, or Phoenix, but they were ignoring her now. Her needs had to be fulfilled. But, why him? She felt close to him, and… Loved him? She was unsure about that, too. Or, maybe he loved her first. Still, it wasn't a matter of who loved whom first, it was a matter of… Oh. _This is really boring, and yet, doing my work is even more boring._ Maybe she'd write something. A poem? But, no, no, no. Not to him.

"Remember before… When you teased me?

Teased me like a mean girl teasing shy schoolboys.

Except we are grown-up now.

And that time has passed.

How come you love me?

Did you love me before?

The only thing _I_ can say,

I used to roll my eyes all the time, at you.

Everything is different.

Why did you change?

Why did I change with you?"

She stopped. She was writing about him. Already. Well, as the people say, "Do not life your life in fear." Or, whatever. Fear is the same thing as panic, right?

She was going to march right into his office and… And what? _I don't know, break out crying?_ She's only denying her feelings, and doing that is unfair. Almost as if she said she loved him, and he said she didn't. She had to be strong about her feelings. Not, "Oh, do I like him? Oh, do I hate him?" She's making it complicated when it doesn't have to be. Fine, she'll decide on something, and then do her work. Both had to be done, and she might as well do both at once. All at once.  
"I love him! I need him! He understands my pain! I'd die without him!" Okay. That's done. Now she had to write it down to remember she said it. And if that weren't evidence enough, she'd keep a clear print of hers on the journal page. She could test it for fingerprints and know that she really did say it. If anybody were around, she'd die of not being able to have an explanation for them. Oh! What if he…

She turned around. Nobody seemed to be there. Okay. She's starting to act all anxious again. She hates being anxious. He probably hates her when she's anxious. _I still have work to do!_ Man, she really believed she was mentally sick, or something. Hmm… Anxious to please? Just waiting for somebody to notice she's alive? Just waiting for a love to appear out of nowhere? With love, you can never be too sure. Both have to do something. Maybe she could find some way out of this scientifically, not logically. Blood, fingerprints, footprints, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't a real forensic scientist. But, it's what's inside that counts! What inside his mind, then? No, not mind, but heart? She believed its love. Well, she hoped it was.

"No more waiting around for him! I'm going to his stupid office, full of his stupid guitars, and I'm going to…!" Shoot, she's more romantic than she thought she was. Is it really evil for thinking such thoughts? _I guess it's time to put them to work…_


	5. The Train

I don't own Ace Attorney, or any of these characters.

I'm trying not to write in third person all the time. It takes away most of the romance, and generally, the pairing. (Or, just add some dialouge.)

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Here she was. At a boring train station, waiting for her stupid, crowded train. With a whole bunch of annoying teenagers being obnoxious. The don't make them like she was anymore.

Instead of going to work, she took a day off. But, only for a doctor's appointment. They called it a sick day, but if anybody from her work saw her not being sick… Well, she would be classified as a liar. Sighing, she saw her breath in the frighteningly, ferocious, cold weather. Shoving her hands in her lab coat pockets, she wished she had something warm to drink. Hey, she was in a little Chinatown a few minutes ago. If she could only walk over and get some hot bubble tea. Or, at least a milkshake. But, no, the train had to be late. She really wanted somebody to talk to.

"What are you doing here, fraulein?" Her eyes widened. When she turned around, she saw a fop with a Black Berry phone, and a cup of tea in his hands. His cheeks were so rosy, and his gloves looked so comfy.

"Uhh… I have a doctor's appointment. What train are you taking?" _Let's see if I can steal that warm scarf…_

"The B train. You look like you have frost bite." For some reason, they were being friendly to each other. And smiling awkwardly.

"I'm taking the B train, too. And, yeah, I'm COLD!" She shivered to emphasize her point.

"Want some of my tea?" Tea wouldn't warm anybody up. But, she was desperate for heat…

"Did you put your lips on it yet?" Her hand was already about to take it.

"No." He flipped the phone on, and started texting.

"Okay." She grabbed it, and the steaming liquid went down her throat, and heated her stomach.

"Beep Beep!" _Was that a buzzer?_ In a few moments, she noticed that it was her cheap phone. Flipping her phone open, a message appeared on the screen.

You're such a sweetie-pie. ; )

Look up.

She looked up, and saw a cute Klavier smiling.

You do know that the more we actually talk, the more carbon dioxide comes out? Thus creating more heat?

She took another sip.

But isn't the friction of texting good enough?

Is that our train?

Ha, I like the way you call it 'our.'

Fop. Shush.

You're so cute with your little kid face, waiting for the train.

…

"What?' _Your tan face and smile is like a little kitty vat. Where's your tail?!_

"Ema! Stop being so insulting!"

"If I complimented you, you'd take it the wrong way. Then, bend it and twist it, so it sounds perverted."

"Not this time! Compliment me."

"Thanks for the tea."

"I said me, not the tea!"

The train rushed past them, delivering a big whoosh of wind. What a time to be sick.

"Hey, let's go on." Luckily, this train had no teenagers, or that many people. Maybe, it was because of him.


	6. Be Courageous

I don't own Ace Attorney, or any of the characters.

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She was always sort of childish. Like the time when she forgot who Einstein was, dropped her chemicals in a muddy puddle, and pretty much when she let a stranger steal her wallet-which had nothing in it. She only held it because it was sparkly. (It's not like she gets paid big bucks like him.) So childish…. Especially in these kind of times when the economy was horrible, and the best mood to be in, is grumpy. How else would another person's words not hurt you?

They sat next to the window. Ema started to stare out, but quickly became hypnotized by the trees and backyards that were passed. It never occurred to her, that his arm was around her. Silence overwhelmed them, and… Before she knew it, Klavier was calling her name in irritation. She looked beside her, and he wasn't there. Frantically, she searched, looking at the door, out the window…

"Ema! I'm right behind you!" She turned around to be met face to face with the guy. The seats were strange, but their faces were so close. Her face stayed still with shock, while his was still rosy from outside. As he chuckles, his breath blows onto her face. Suddenly, the train started to move, obviously, the train was at a stop before. She became even more uncomforted, when gravity pulled their lips together.

Because of the lousy train official manning the train, if you were standing and the train started moving, you would be knocked to the ground. Also, you would probably die. But, Ema would take kissing him because of gravity, over dieing because of gravity any day. Their lips were connected, until both were able to deal with the train's speed. Ema turned around, facing forward.

"Where do you get off?" He was still thinking about the kiss, anybody who wasn't a mind reader would hear it in their minds, loud and clear. He played with his hands, trying to fold them.

"Uh, _well, Ema,_ I get off at the next stop." Ema turned around, facing him, frustrated.

"Next stop?! That's when I get off!"

"Why are you so upset, Ema? You wanted to get away from me? We just kissed. I don't think that's the logical thing to do."

"You were the person who said texting warms you up more than talking."

"… What doctor are you going to, fraulein?"

"I have a funny feeling that it's the same as yours." He put his hand in her coat pocket, and pulled out a paper.

"And it is. Let's see… Your appointment is at 8: 15, and mine is at…" He started pulling something out of his own pocket.

"Hmm… 8: 20?"

"No. 7: 45."

"Aww… You go in before me?"

"I could trade appointment times with you."

"No thanks. What are you in for?"

"Considering that the place is for MRI's… I might be getting an MRI."

"What you fell on your head rehearsing your songs?"

"NO. Really, then, what are _you_ doing getting an MRI?" Ema looked down.

"… Lana thinks I have a brain tumor." Klavier suddenly backed away.

"Is it contagious?!"

"No…! I don't _think_ so."

"Umm…"

"Lana thinks I have a brain tumor because… I've been acting strange lately, and some of my hair is falling out!"

"It's called, 'love,' darling."

"What makes you think I'm in love with you?"

"You know it in your heart."

"… Doesn't hurt to check if it's a brain tumor." Klavier leaned closer.

"I think its love."

"I have evidence that it's more likely to be a brain tumor than _love_. That's just plain silly."

"What is it?"

"My mom had a brain tumor. She died driving to the hospital."

"That's why she was speeding."

"She wasn't the one who was speeding! She was driving so slow, I could bet she was trying to kill herself!" He put his hands up.

"Whoa, whoa! No need to get so aggravated."

"I didn't even know you knew that word."

"And I didn't even know you didn't know that I knew that this is our stop. We need to get off before the doors close." They rushed out, thank goodness.

"I hate missing my stop."

"But, we didn't, did we, Ema?"

"What? Please stop with all your confusing antics." He put his hand around her waist.

"We better rush. It's 7: 40."

"I hate rushing." Ema sighed.

"You know what I hate? You not smiling." Usually, she would take it in as it corny joke, but after talking about brain tumors and the like, she thought of it as… Nice. As they ran down the stairs to the street, he threw out the cup, and it was, in fact, a good shot. _For a fop._

Things were so delightful, it was almost as if she were dreaming. Not too many days ago, she, "hallucinated," a dance with him. It was also too much for her. Like that, it was the pleasure of a dream, seeing, feeling, and hearing what you like, and the pleasure of waking up, and knowing it was not true. Was she in love with him? That's not the question. She is in love with him.

People's souls need to be nurtured, and when faced with a hard challenge, most are too scared, or too nervous to actually admit their feelings. The average person does not have a love that's right for them. The average person, who doesn't have a love, is too afraid to go out somewhere and talk to somebody. Love. It's a two way street. You can't get anywhere by hallucinating, or dreaming something that you want to be true, and never having the courage to speak your mind. Courage. At the end of an average person's life, they've already died inside.


End file.
